With the help of our beta testers, we’ve been working feverishly towards the release of the DailyBurn iPhone app. We’re itching to get it to the app store because quite simply, it really changes the DailyBurn experience for the better.
That said, building the app is challenging, sometimes frustrating work. Things can get nutty when developers work day after day in these sorts of conditions. At some point recently these conditions spawned a conversation. The actual conversation has been lost to the ether, but it most likely went something like this between developers A, B, and C:
B: I just saw a commercial for what’s basically a vibrating brick.
B: They claim that you if you kick back and set your foot on it, you’ll lose weight.
C: That’s complete bogus.
A: Man, If those kinds of things actually worked, then there’d be a dozen of them on the App Store already.
B: Agreed. And people are willing to pay $80 bucks for the stupid thing.
C: You could get a cheap bike for $80 and be awesome.
A: Searching the App Store turns up nothing.
C: We should fix that.
B: Hah, that’d be funny.
A: It’d be so easy to make. A button, a description, then done!
C: I dare you to make it.
A: I will, I’ll totally make it. Watch.
Maybe a day passes…
A: Look at what I did last night. Here’s a screen shot.
B: Whoa
C: Nice. Let’s release it for real!
B: Hah, that’d be funny.
A: It’d be so easy to do.
C: I dare you!
Maybe a day passes…
A: Hey guys, I submitted Fatburner2k to the App Store
B: Hah!
C: Hah!
To make this short story less long, essentially FatBurner2k, our little joke to blow off steam, was actually published, and within a few days of the release made it on Fortune Magazine’s The 10 Dumbest iPhone Apps list.
Read the app description with the backstory in mind to get a sense for how funny it is to be acknowledged by Fortune Magazine at all:
We feel like we know you. You’d rather spend your time moving and
shaking where it counts in life, not at some expensive members only
gym where people just stand around drinking coffee trying to look hot
all day. Your tastes are similar to ours. You don’t like to waste
time. You enjoy the good life. You’re not some obsessed muscle bound
jerk, but you enjoy showing people who’s boss from time to time.We designed this application for you.
With the FatBurner 2000 1.0 application, you can turn your iPhone into
the gym that works on your terms, and works places where those snooty
gyms might not be able to fit. FB2K1.0 can help your body consume fat
molecules using disharmonic, molecule to molecule, physical
oscillations, which is a sciency way of saying that FB2K1.0 shakes the
fat in your body until it gives up.FB2K1.0 is super flexible, allowing a workout at anytime, anywhere. Use it …
* … while finding a parking spot
* … when waiting to order dinner
* … at the doctor’s office
* … while you nap
* … when watching professional sports, such as NASCAR, wrestling,
bass fishing, figure skating
* … while you talk on your land line
* … while getting a haircut
* … while smoking a filtered cigarette
* … while enjoying the good life
* … to put the fear of God into your fat moleculesFatBurner 2000 1.0 is the only application for the iPhone specifically
designed to vibrate fat molecules. In fact, the application is so
focused on shaking your fat molecules that it’s the only think it
does. Why would you need a bloated application with loads of useless
features when all you want to do is do it right?FatBurner 2000 1.0. We designed it for you.
Good news for those who have been waiting anxiously for the DailyBurn iPhone app: Fatburner2k is not that app. Fatburner2k is excellent at making your phone vibrate and maybe getting a chuckle out of your friends. It, like the $80 vibrating brick, won’t help you lose weight.
Old timey wisdom would suggest that all good things require real effort. An $80 vibrating brick won’t help you lose weight. Fatburner2k won’t help you lose weight. There are no shortcuts.
The process of building the DailyBurn iPhone is one that requires iteratively applying consistent and real effort as we incorporate bug fixes and feature requests submitted by our fantastic team of beta testers.
